Sometimes I wonder what my kids will be like when they (Lord-willing) become adults: Will my humorous, high-energy daughter focus her enthusiasm on something amazing? Will my sweet, creative daughter marry someone who will cherish her gentle spirit?
Will my children love God?
What will their memories of me be like?
The questions and wonderings can swim around in my head until I have to shut off the “what-if’s” before those thoughts steal my joy of today.
And yet, one question remains: What will I regret?
I already know the answer.
I’ll regret being distracted. I’ll regret the times my oldest was trying to talk to me and I was too busy checking my Facebook news feed to really listen. I’ll regret the days when my youngest wanted me to read to her but I was too busy rushing around tidying up the house because I’d wasted time online.
I don’t know what events will someday stand out in my children’s minds, but I do know that I’ll deeply regret if most of their memories of me involve me looking at a bright screen instead of into their eyes.
I shouldn’t live in a state of “What if’s,” but asking myself what I’ll regret can be a valuable tool.
Because when I can get into my future brain for a few minutes and think back to my current self, I can clearly see what I should be doing.
And you know what I shouldn’t be doing? I shouldn’t be checking social media when I could be fully involved in the things that are happening right in front of me. I shouldn’t be distracted from real life.
So I evaluated my online time. I wrestled within myself. I spent months praying, thinking, and noticing.
I noticed that my kids are better-behaved when I stay away from my phone. I realized my high-energy daughter displays a quieter spirit when I snuggle up to read to her in an unrushed manner. I was reminded that my soft-spirited daughter shares her heart when the electronics are off and we’re working side-by-side on things like laundry and baking.
I noticed the days I kept all electronics 100% off, we accomplished more tasks, had more fun, and went to bed with that satisfied-exhausted feeling that only occurs after a productive, full day of work, play, and being connected.
I also noticed that I didn’t have too many of those days before I felt the all-too-familiar tug of the Internet luring me back in. E-mails piled up, my Facebook news feeds grew, Pinterest had so many great things to pin…
Finally I had enough. I felt like I was in one of those slow-motion parts of movies, where the world starts spinning around, all of the noise blurs together, and the main character grows dizzier and dizzier until he cover his ears, curls into a ball, and shouts, “QUIET!”
I told my kids I was sorry. That I’d had enough. That I hated to be online again, but I needed some time to myself so I could break free from the Internet. They watched a movie and I got to work.
I deleted every single Facebook friend (although I did add my husband back when he asked), I “Unliked” about 40 pages, I left time-consuming groups, and I wrote a big status that I made public so if people search for me, they’ll be able to read it and know that my unfriending frenzy had nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.
And I didn’t stop at Facebook. I deleted over 25,000 e-mails. I unsubscribed to no less than 50 e-mail lists (2 dozen the first day, and a couple dozen more since). I unfollowed several Pinterest boards.
It took hours. And you know what? I didn’t feel free right away. I felt mad.
There was nothing left to distract me from real life, and I felt serious social-media withdrawals. But I stuck it out.
And now, a few weeks later? I can’t imagine why I ever wasted so much time on Facebook. I love not knowing everything that’s going on with practically everybody I’ve ever met. I can still text, call, or e-mail whoever I need to talk to. People can contact me directly as well. I’m calmer. I feel like I have more time in my day.
I do still get online, but now it’s intentional. Basically, family needs to trump electronic time.
Will I ever regret this decision? I don’t think so. I’ve never heard of anyone who looked back on their life and said, “Oh, I just wish I’d ignored real life more and wasted more time on electronics.”
Quite the opposite. I’ve heard of people saying, with deep, heart-wrenching regret that they wish they’d been there more. For their kids. For their spouse. For their church family. They wish they’d obeyed God. They wish they’d focused on the important things.
That’s what I want – to focus on the important things. To spend time on what really matters. I can add social media back to my life later, but I can never make my kids young again.
I only get one shot at raising them.
I want to be all in.
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Wow! Amazing, convicting, inspiring article. You said everything I’ve been thinking lately and put it so clearly. 95% of my Facebook news is stuff I don’t need/want to know. The same with Pinterest. Makes me want to be intentional about not checking all the time. For awhile, I only checked those things on the computer instead of always checking on my phone, which is sooo easy and uses up soooo much time. I checked much less often because taking the time and effort to go to the computer was enough to make me realize it wasn’t necessary in that moment.
Lisa, thank you so much, and I agree! I think I’m going make that Pinterest rule for myself as well – only check it on my computer, not my phone 🙂 I do love that only things I actually want to see on Pinterest are there now, much less “filler.”
Thank you for this!! I too have been considering doing the same thing. In fact, just last night I told my husband I think I may be deleting everything but a few groups. Thank you for sharing your your thoughts on this topic. Enjoy your children!!
Go for it, Chasity! Like a friend told me, you can always add people back later.
Facebook is a real time sucker for me. I have visited the idea of doing away with it completely. In January I took a FB hiatus & I felt such freedom & had more time to be more productive in my homeschool & household duties. February 1 has come & gone & I still have not gone in to check on anything . I have no desire to do so. I still have other social media & Pinterest but neither one pulls me away like FB does. You mentioned that you deleted your friends. Did you keep your account open for blogging purposes?
Hi, Becky! I’ve deactivated my account in the past (which is like shutting it down, except all my stuff is there waiting for me when I reactivate), but I ran into problems with not being able to get on my local homeschool group pages, friends not being able to send me messages, etc. Keeping my account open allows me access to those things as well as being able to keep my author Facebook page. For now this is the perfect balance for me!
Hi Davonne,
I very much appreciated this article.
While I am not following suit, there are some reasons I have considered doing so. I actually pulled the tv/cable plug when my kids were young (about 3/4 and 12/13) so I do understand and agree with your reasoning. In this case, I am not. My age, who I am friends with, and why are big factors, as well as the fact that I have been in such poor health for a few years that I often can do nothing more than either lie in bed, OR catch up with people online, many of whom I think I have influenced for the better, though there are always glaring failures.
Anyway, I wanted to say I admire your actions and the reasons for them, and hope that it will work out for the best for your family, as I believe it will.
Always glad I have read your writings. 🙂 Keep up all your good work!
Sherry Crossley
Thank you for reading my blog and for sharing your thoughts, Mrs. Crossley! I’m so sorry you’ve been having health problems. I definitely agree that Facebook unfriending isn’t for every person but I feel honored that my article has inspired so many people (particularly those with children still living at home) to re-evaluate their time online and seek a balance. For me personally, not having Facebook friends has been an enormous blessing and a decision that I haven’t regretted in any way. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. Anytime you’re well enough this spring, please come visit us!
I am sharing this all over! Love it!
Thank you so much, Tove!
I love this…I am debating doing a media fast perhaps one, two or even three days per week…so convicted here 🙂
Thank you so much for letting me know, Rach! You will never regret time away from the media.
Davonne,
Thank you for writing this. This, along with a few other things, encouraged me to cut the strings for a certain time frame on FB. I was completely 100% addicted to FB…you know you have a problem, when you start seeing yourself post 20 times a day, several days in a row. I’d tried a few things, but really just needed to give control of my account over to someone I trusted, and had my password changed for 90 days. I’ve got about 25 (give or take) days left to go, and there has been so much change in my heart and mind since leaving it 60+ days ago…I could write a book.
But the things I’ve seen and done with my children, and my family, it’s been amazing!!
When I return to FB, I already know I have to go through everything with a prayerful heart and the steady ready hand on the delete button. I cannot go back to where I was, I refuse too. 😉
Peggy
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Peggy. AWESOME job on being off of Facebook for over 60 days, what an incredible choice you made for your family!
I only joined Facebook to share pics and news with my long-distance family. To my dismay, I ended up adding all sorts of friends when they requested whom I ordinarily wouldn’t keep up with. What a freedom to find the unfollow button instead of unfriending everyone! Now I don’t see all the negative or anti-Christian posts that used to bog down my ability to connect with family.
I was smug about my online time (never while the kids are up) until I read the part about “rushing to tidy the house instead of playing with my daughter to make up for all the time I’s spent onlone.” That’s me–I also get less sleep than I need when I’m trying to keep up with a zillion emails. Not healthy!
Thanks so much for sharing, Angel! The part you quoted is something that is still on the forefront of my mind very often. I guess that’s a good thing to be mindful of! I said a prayer for you.
This is an area I’m struggling with right now. When my daughter was born, I didn’t fall into the feeding trap of watching tv as much as getting on FB from my Nook. It worked, but now that she’s not nursing as much, I’m struggling with how to moderate my time spent keeping up with everyone. I’ve thought about cutting down my list, but I live so far away from anyone that sometimes FB is my only contact with the outside world and I truly have grown closer to almost everyone I know because of staying in touch on FB. I’ve been trying to limit my time on it each day, but it’s not working. I keep thinking there must be a trick of how to navigate around FB so that I can still get updates, but not get sucked into scrolling and scrolling through my newsfeed…any hints?
Lisa, I know that some people “hide” other people’s updates so they don’t see all the posts but they can still go to that person’s profile. Other people keep a lot of friends but delete some of them. There’s a really great article about that here: http://findingjoyinthejourney.net/why-i-deleted-over-half-my-facebook-friends/
Thanks so much for commenting – I’d love to hear what you end up deciding!
Thanks for the tips & links, Davonne! I’ll definitely have to spend some time mulling over this one. I’ll have to come back and let you know what I decide. 🙂
PINNING! As a full time blogger and author, I use the internet alot. I don’t think this is bad, BUT, how many times has my fiance complained that I’ve spent time playing on my phone when I should have been talking and connecting w/ him? This post humbled me. Please will you pray for me? I need God-guidance on where to go from here.
Stefanie, I prayed for you and for everyone else seeking a social-media balance. Thank you so much for sharing your heart about this.
When I was a child my parents didn’t have the Internet to deal with but TV was the problem. We decided, more like mom and dad, that @ 9pm Sunday til homework was finished on Friday no-TV. Not easy, but worth it. I think Monday Night Football was hardest for Dad, but that cord, laying on the floor, spoke of his love for us, more than even his image at work. That was 40 yrs ago, I still read books, play board games and wish TV didn’t matter as much as it does now. Some parents told my parents they were nuts. I thought they were. But I never thought they didn’t love me. When everyone speaks well of you, be careful. Great article. Thank you
Thank you so much David! “When everyone speaks well of you, be careful.” I needed to hear that today!
Thank you for writing this, I have been getting less and less on FB, But it is still distracting, this is what I need to read to hit the spot in my heart. Thank you, so I have deactivated my FB page. Now I just need to get through the withdrawals.
Sarah, that is incredible! Thank you so much for sharing! I’ve done that as well and it was a hard but very enlightening experience.
But obviously blogging doesn’t involve the internet or time sucks or distractions, right?
You’re right that blogging involves the Internet, India! But I think it’s like the difference between sitting on the couch watching TV and putting in a workout video to exercise to. Same screen, different purpose 🙂
That is amusing: some people, in trying to make sense of the new technologies and find some order in their daily existence, seem to want to draw lines: “you mustn’t be on your screen at all! it’s wrong!” A decade ago I was working in radio, and I read an excerpt from a book on-air as part of my show; received positive response from listeners, but was told by program director that I was not permitted to read from a book on the air. But we could read news stories and feature items that came from the computer, aloud on the air. “Logic” seemed to be — if it came from the computer you can read it on the air, but if it was found in a book made out of paper, a physical book, then it mustn’t be read aloud on-air. (?)
I think for Mom’s with young children, you do need to limit what you do online, besides giving you the time with your family it’s teaching your young children to not get so absorbed into the internet. Your teaching them self control.
However with that said, I myself am a grandmother and both our Daughters are out of state, this is how we keep in touch and I get to keep up with pictures of our Grandchildren and what is going on in their lives, it’s also allowed us to get connected with family we haven’t seen in years or been able to be apart of their lives, All our Elders have gone home to be with the Lord, it’s just us now and our Children, It’s been great, but I do have the time, It also allows me to witness to some who would never have heard about God other wise. So for some it does have a down side, for others, not so much. 🙂 .
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Cindy! I definitely agree that it can have a lot to do with our seasons of life, as well as how we use Facebook. I was personally mindlessly browsing my news-feed to help me procrastinate on other things. Not everyone has that struggle! And I’m sure that when my girls are grown with their own children, it will be my season to sign up for whatever social media they’re posting the pictures on 🙂
I got a lot of negative feedback the time I went on a de-friending spree. Not you can use the option “unfollow” They will not be in your feed but they can still use facebook to contact you and you can pop in on them from time to time.
I know several people who have chosen to unfollow others and it’s the perfect balance for them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Michelle!
What if you get angry messages from ppl who just don’t get it that’s what I’m dealing with now and it’s stressful 🙁
Elise, I’m so sorry that some of your friends and family members aren’t being supportive of your decisions. If you’re doing the best thing for your family, it’s okay to answer others with kindness and love, but it’s also important to stick to your convictions.
Keep doing what’s best for your own family. After all, it’s those living within your own four walls who are most affected by your decisions.
Also, read this article for a little encouragement: https://davonneparks.com/freedom-from-searching-for-approval/
I’m praying for you today, Elise!
A better solution would be to simply unfollow your friends/groups. That way, you remain friends with them, and if you wanted to check up on someone you still could, but you won’t get a constant stream of distractions in your feed. And I find the most distracting posts are the ones from pages I’ve ‘liked’, ones with funny pictures, news articles and otherwise. I suspect I would hardly spend any time on facebook if I could just get rid of the junk like that.
Juliette – go for it! A lot of my friends have unfollowed others with great success. For me personally, I needed to take it a step further but I know that not everyone does 🙂
I loved this article… especially the last line. Our church just started a series this past Sunday entitled “All in”. Same concept, but then using that time to serve God. Thank you for sharing the things that so many of us can not voice.
Thank YOU for your encouragement, Kristi!
I agree. Mainly for the reason I realized my 637 followers were not really friends. Now after unfriending, I rebuilt with a different purpose. I write real letters to friends. I inform others of good things happening in my life on facebook. These acquaintances get the good of me…and if I do not like what they post, they are now deleted. Thanks for sharing.
I’m so glad you rebuilt with intention in mind! Thank you for sharing part of your story!
I’ve been unfollowing many, many “friends”–people that just aren’t in my circle anymore or whose daily posts really don’t matter to me. I’ve also been much more intentional about who I add as FB friends. At first it felt wrong somehow, but now it’s liberating. And I also deleted the Facebook and Messenger apps from my phone, so it has to be a deliberate choice to use my mobile browser to check.
Next step is to give myself a social media fast at least a few days each week. It will be a gift, not a curse. 🙂
Liberating is the perfect word! Awesome job, Brenna!
You will never regret your time spent with your family, Davonne. I promise you!! I reflect back on my childhood from time to time. My Mother and Dad were probably two of the hardest working people you would ever want to meet. But, they spent lots of quality time with us, teaching us the important things of life. Serving the Lord and others were priority. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and intentions. Also, for taking the time to answer each ones comments. You are doing a great job!!!
Thank you so much, Aunt Julie!
I keep working my way there! I hid all my friends from my newsfeed, and deleted a bunch. Now I still want to go back and delete more and more, but my husband continues to object because it will upset people. I don’t see why my friend status with them on facebook should matter! Maybe I will wear him down in time!
My husband wasn’t on board at first either for the same reasons. I spent time in prayer over it, then we discussed how much I struggled with this plus I gently reminded him of a few examples of ways I’ve supported him in his own struggles. He offered his support after that 🙂 I’ll pray for your husband’s heart on this, Ashley!
She deleted 25,000 emails? For her to have that many emails and forty pages of friends to unfriend implies problems much deeper than just Facebook. Posting about it online seems to emphasize this. Good luck to her all the same. I hope it helps.
You’re right, Mary. My deeper problem was that I wasn’t intentional with my Internet time. Unfriending everyone on Facebook was one of the steps I took to become more intentional and it has helped me tremendously!
Of course if I wasn’t on Facebook scrolling through my news feed to click on this article my friend shared, I wouldn’t have read this article. In fact if we all (including the author), weren’t “wasting” time on the computer none of these comment would be here and the article wouldn’t be here either. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to use Facebook as a way of checking in with our friends. It’s about setting limits for ourselves around technology, house work, homework, regular work, hobbies, and our families. It’s about knowing when to ignore the back ground noise and when to listen to it instead.
I definitely agree that it’s about setting limits and knowing when to ignore the background noise. Not having Facebook friends helps me spend the majority of my computer time writing and reading articles instead of browsing my news feed and posting updates. I agree that not everybody wastes time on Facebook or needs to unfriend their entire list, but it was a wonderful step for me personally 🙂
I so appreciated this article, Davonne! I have been thinking of simplifying my online world as well. It’s frustrating and saddening to watch precious moments which can turn into whole days and weeks, slip by because of a silly decision made by you.
You’ve really inspired me to read only those blogs on my feed rather than looking mindlessly. Anyway, thank you for the inspiration!
Thank you so much for your kind encouragement, Anna! You’ll never regret the times you tuned out the technology and tuned in to your little ones!
Thanks so much for sharing this! It definitely made me think more about what I think is important as a stay-at-home mom (also homeschooling my oldest 4 yr old). Thank you for challenging others (even if your main purpose was just to share). God bless!
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Carol, and for sharing part of your story. I remember our first year of homeschool when my oldest was four – what an adventure!
You are correct about my intentions – when I wrote this, my purpose was simply to share my heart about why I took those steps. I’ve been blown away by the response!
I got thinking…. I know a lot of people that are leaving FB right now for the same reason but also because of the negative part of it. I am on my third day. It is difficult, did not realize how addicted to it I was
Sarah, I felt exactly the same way! I prayed that today will be a little easier for you – you’re doing a great job.
I’m sorry but this is kind of stupid. She should have just not gone on facebook. There’s no point in going on facebook if you literally have 0 friends because you deleted everyone. She should have just deleted her facebook – It would have been quicker.
Rebekah, not having Facebook friends keeps my news feed clear without taking away the benefits of being in helpful groups.
Thanks. God’s talking!
Thank you, Viviana!
I truly enjoyed reading your post. I happen to just come across it this morning. I began clearing out my social media accounts and aside from a few friends at church, our pastor, and family, former friends are no longer. I got tired of seeing their postings about various intoxicating endeavors and their negativity to be honest. Sometimes we need to just sit back and reevaluate. I realized I spent way too much time wondering what was going on Facebook statuses or what cool new pin I just had to see. I used to spend hours and I mean hours on Pinterest. I was a pin-a-holic. (as I called it, perhaps others did as well) Electronics have really gotten in the way of my spending time with my family and with God. It is sad when you go out to a restaurant with your family and you are too busy checking statuses to hear the conversation. Limiting time with electronics has gotten me more involved with my kids and being more active as a parent and not worried so much about what everyone else is doing. You have a limited window with your kids, every moment counts. 😀 Thank you for your post. Glad to know I am not alone.
Thank you for sharing your story, Melissa! Your family and you will be truly blessed by your efforts to be more present in their lives. You won’t regret it!
This is very interesting to me because it is something I go back an forth on regularly. What I have realized about myself though, is that I have a self control issue, and deleting Facebook only shifted my addiction to Instagram. And deleting IG just made me go to Pinterest. For a while it was Zillow. What I have had to face is that it isn’t about deleting anything, but having it all I front of me but just saying no. It’s the same concept as pouring sugar all over my dinner when I want to force myself to not take another bite. The problem isn’t going to go away until I can say no, even with the temptation just as strong. That’s just what I have realized. And to lighted up on myself. I don’t watch any tv. I am not a socialite. I stay at home with my kids and spend all day with them. My phone is the only thing I have that keeps me connected to my family who lives 10 hours away. It’s how I stay sane when I have spent my whole day without adult contact. I make it a point to only use my phone a lot when my kids are napping. I appreciated your post and it made me think, and I like your responses to everyone – you are so positive and polite and kind!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your encouragement, Erin! I definitely agree that when we drop one thing, another is often right there ready to steal our time and attention so we definitely need to stay on guard. It sounds like you’re finding a great balance with staying focused on your children but also staying connected with family!
Davonne,
First, please allow me to say this article is a bit ironic. Only because I actually came across it as a link on Facebook from someone. I clicked the link, thinking it was some kind of “practical joke” stories (like where the person wouldn’t have really deleted all their friends and the title was just a misnomer, for example), or maybe even some kind of strange ad that a person might see in the random browsing of the internet. But, after I realized it might lead to an actual story, I continued to read it. I am certainly glad that I clicked it to do so! 🙂
Please know that I am not trying to guess, ask, or even allude to your age when I say this, but I am 30. A couple of things that I have noticed which are quite interesting about Facebook is that it appears that — without trying to pass any judgment, as this is just my observations — it is either mostly females or the younger generations who are *typically* more immersed into the “internet world” (and all it supposedly has to “offer”), with sites like Facebook. I know this isn’t always the truth, as many people who are higher in age, or some men even, are just as into these kinds of things, but it just appears that way from what I have noticed. (Quick side note, before I forget it: the people who are more “hooked” on Facebook, especially younger generations, really could learn from this article, because it also seems that even though there is that virtual connection of two people, there is fewer and fewer actual, personal connections happening between people “in real life”, and it has the possibility of being extremely detrimental; for example, the app on smartphones is being used way too often when actual work at a job should be done.)
I have never really been big into Facebook myself, and really do not see what the big hype is about. However, my last girlfriend would spend seemingly tons of hours on it via her smartphone, like I mentioned last paragraph (which, I can’t deny, did annoy me at times, such as when I was hoping for some special time solely between her and I, or even when she thought it was allowed by our employer — who didn’t even allow us to have any electronic item at our stations), and, because I more or less felt out of the loop into what she was so interested with, I decided to use it more and more. It was during this small time period where I used it to connect with people who I might not have connected with otherwise.
Shortly after our break-up, though, I went back to not being on it as much, then eventually, it virtually became non–existent in my life. I still have my account, and do occasionally check it, but only really for like five minutes at a time. I’m finding myself appreciating other happy times in my life, joining groups I never had participated in before, doing different things, etc. Here’s the upsetting part to me: a couple of my groups have the possibility of allowing anyone within the entire state to join, and because postage can be expensive (and for the speed and ease of online communication), those groups use Facebook to relay messages of upcoming meetings. I was hoping, eventually, to be able to get off of Facebook entirely, but it looks like I will have to create a whole separate account for things like this, and stay strictly on point and use it solely for these situations. Go figure, though! 🙂
I also have noticed recently that my mother uses Facebook quite a bit, and it appears she uses it every day after she gets off of work. It probably helps her unwind, but if I think I am correct, she gets on it nearly every day. She mainly gets on for the games capability, but I’m sure she also uses it to connect with the people she is connected with from time to time. While I am not trying to say she’s overusing it — for that would be, of course, her own decision — I would like her to think about what you have to say about its use, and how it really is capable of being an addiction, of sorts. I’m very thankful that my family didn’t really have internet while I was growing up, so my parents were very involved in my childhood (especially since I was an only child), but you wrote such a fantastic article about this, I am also going to share this with her; hopefully it will relate to her.
Although I’m sure I could say much more about all of this, I have made a long enough comment, so I’ll wrap up with just a few more points. 🙂 It really is rather scary how “addicting” Facebook truly can be (as well as the entire internet itself, really!), and how much of our lives can be seemingly devoted to it, yet there is no legitimate purpose a lot of the time for when we are! It would be quite interesting to see how much time is used on Facebook for illegitimate reasons (games, seeing what people we don’t really connect with on a personal level are up to, etc., *NOT* things like catching up with long–distance friends or family) within the United States, or even the entire world…I’m sure the number of hours spent this way are quite scary.
Lastly, thank you for sharing this wonderful article, its points, as well as the links! It really is greatly appreciated, and quite eye–opening. It even gave me an idea, which I’d be more than willing to share with you if you’d like to hear it! 🙂 If you do wish to do so, please feel free to email me, Davonne!
Thank you again, and I hope you’re still doing very well with this endeavor! May the Lord bless you and your family! < 🙂 🙂 🙂 Give your family a huge hug, and may you all also have a very wonderful, blessed Christmas!
“Even though there is that virtual connection of two people, there is fewer and fewer actual, personal connections happening between people “in real life”, and it has the possibility of being extremely detrimental…” YES.
Thank you for this thoughtful comment, JD.
I just posted this on Creative Christian Mama.
I love this. I stopped Facebook a long time ago. Good for you!
I have a new one for you to think about. Pinterest. I have friends who spend so much time bragging, boasting, lusting, coveting & trying to keep up with the world on Pinterest.
I have been praying about this for a few weeks now. I recently saw a friend who is a minister’s wife who has boards called, “I WANT THIS!!!” & “I NEED THIS!” I am in a minister’s family. I am the first to admit I am not perfect! I am not judging I am merely saying what I believe God has placed on my heart.
But what if they spent that time reading/studying the Bible or with their husband & kids. Even organizing their home instead of just pinning about it! lol
Are we allowing social media to cause us to lust & covet? I mean Christian women who are married with board’s titled “HOT MEN” or “MUST HAVE” or they pin or follow people who hate God & even our country not giving it a single thought.
I asked a friend who is on Pinterest why do you pin couture clothing you & I will never be able to afford aka an $11,000.00 dress, mansions, dream cars, dream closets, perfect organization & gourmet recipes when you don’t even like to cook?
She said, it’s fun seeing what all my friends & other people are doing, going, buying, living, traveling & cooking. Then she said, I like to see how many followers I can get & how many repins. I simply said, I see.
Then I said well I took down my boards except Bible verses & quotes. I mean I can right click on any photo on-line of a room, an outfit or a wreath for my front door & save it right to my private photos or documents file for inspiration. I do recipes like that. I also just hit print & then I have the recipe.
I don’t think every friend I have has to know where I shop or go on vacation but that’s just me.
Also if your pinning things you’ll never buy, places you’ll never go & things you’ll never do don’t you think your friends might be doing the same exact thing?
Then is it really real or all just coveting? She didn’t answer right away.
She called me a few days later & said your right 99% of those people are not buying, doing, cooking or traveling to those places so why am I wasting my time trying to keep up with them? I said, exactly & the best part is you are perfect being the you that God created!!! If God wants you to go to Italy he’ll send you & you don’t need a pin for that! BTW we can go shopping for real & not just dream about it on-line. Imagine that two people having an actually conversation & going out shopping. Wow.
You said it better Creative Christian Mama!
“Be There” For Them: One of the big differences between online friends and in person friends is that we can be there for each other. We can help each other in tangible ways. A hug, a meal, a shoulder to cry on, a ride when the car isn’t running, a babysitter in an emergency… when all our friends are far away, we miss out on helping each other in practical ways when there are real needs.
Please don’t think I am being mean. God just put this on my heart. Why are we following & coveting worldly things that don’t matter? Why when we know in our hearts what we like do we feel the need to Pin it or Facebook it? I care about people’s well being, if they are hungry, hurting or have actual needs not what they covet or what the latest celebrity socialite trend is. I do care when their car breaks down or their baby is sick. That’s the real pins I pin to my heart.
Love your site.
Thank you for your thought-provoking comment, Jacqueline. You’ve provided a lot of food for thought.
I think that, like Facebook, Pinterest is what we make of it. Some people may struggle with feeling inadequate or pinning recipes they’ve made so others can see how “great” that person is. Others simply pin as a way to store their ideas. I personally have loved sitting at a church potluck with friends and complimenting a recipe, then one of them saying something like, “That only took 10 minutes to make! I found it on Pinterest.” It’s a fun way to connect and share recipes, and it feels very home-makey and old fashioned as I go home and pin then try the recipe in my own kitchen. It’s like a modern day version of a recipe swap that our grandmothers would have done.
Again, I agree that Pinterest can be a problem for some, just like Facebook was a problem for me, but I don’t believe that either Social Media outlet is a problem for everyone. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts, blessings to you!
This is an older post and I’m curious to know if you are still disconnected? Leaving Facebook was one of the most freeing things I’ve ever done! Thanks for sharing!
I still am disconnected! I do have my account & am in a few groups (my Tidy Up Club, our local homeschool event group, etc) but I don’t have friends on there to help me keep my Facebook time to a minimum. Thanks for stopping by, Stacy!
Hi Davonne,
God always provides the right words at the right time! Thank you so much for writing this!! I’m not entirely sure how I found your blog but I remember you, as my family and I have attended your church a few times. 🙂
I never post comments but I feel compelled to share and thank you! I browsed several of your posts and I can not tell you what a blessing they have been to me! While I quit Facebook several years ago I still fail at keeping my screen time under control. I recently had a baby and my phone entertained me through the long feedings and difficult recovery (which is no excuse). I’m attempting changes but this post really helped me bring it full circle and reassure me to keep at it and not fall into the trap of my phone!! “Intentional” is the word I’ve been needing to hear, so again, thank you!!
Tiffany, I remember you and your beautiful boys! I’m so sorry you had a difficult recovery, but am glad you’re doing better now. You’re very right that we can waste plenty of time online even without Facebook. It sounds like you have a great mindset for getting back on track with being intentional with your electronic usage.
I also deleted my Facebook several years ago for these same reasons! I have never once regretted it. ive been a little nervous now that I’ve started my blog, if I’ll eventually “have” to go the Facebook route…we’ll see. Even if I do get a Facebook again, I’m sure it will purely be for my blog only. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who came to this conclusion regarding social media! Some people look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I don’t have a Facebook. 🙂
I’m so glad you chose the route that works best for you!
Just found out this post.What do you think about Instagram then? Is it as time-consuming as facebook?
Erin, that’s a great question! I think it depends. We can delete all of one thing online and still be pulled towards our phone because of a million other distractions, when really, the main problem is that we’re allowing technology in general to distract us from real life. I’m planning on going through the Unwired challenge this summer with a few friends – maybe that’s something you’d like to do as well?