Lily has been in Girl Scouts for three years now and Grace just started in the fall. To complete the flower on her vest, Grace needed to earn a total of 10 petals. Since we planned on her being a Daisy for three years I thought we had plenty of time so we didn’t work to earn all of them.
This spring, however, we decided not to rejoin Girls Scouts for the upcoming school year and while I am sad about it, I also feel that we’re making the best decision for our family at this time. While I was sewing on Grace’s petals before her last meeting, I realized that this was it. As I sewed, I kept thinking, I thought we had more time. I thought we had more time.
While I was busily attaching petals to her vest, another thought occurred to me as well: what if I run out of time on raising my children? Today it’s only a Daisy petal, but what if they grow up and I’m mending their graduation or wedding gowns thinking, I thought we had more time. How did this happen? How did it sneak up on me? There’s so much more that I wanted to teach them.
I know they’re already growing up faster than I could have imagined, and there may always be a feeling of wondering where the time went. But I don’t want to wonder that with regret.
I don’t want to know that I could have been a better mom, more connected and more focused. I want to embrace my children’s maturity and adulthood with excitement. Wistfulness will surely be there, yes. But heart-wrenching guilt or regrets? I hope not.
I want to spend my time on what’s important.
And in the end, my hobbies won’t matter. Social media won’t matter. Most other things won’t matter either.
But my children still will.