Curious about homeschooling? I spill the beans about my own story in this post…

Well this is scary! I don’t like posting about controversial topics. But I’m asked about this particular thing all the time (generally, multiple times a week). Plus, I very deeply care about the souls of your children, so I want to help make sure you, the parent, are fully equipped with the knowledge you need. So grab your favorite beverage and get ready for a long post!

Also, please know that I don’t judge you for the choices you make – I only want to help open the eyes of the parents who are already seeking answers.

{And, to help you not be confused as you’re reading this article, you may need to know that I went to public schools from kindergarten through 6th grade, was homeschooled for 7th and 8th, went back to public school (in a “better” school district) for 9th, then was homeschooled again until I graduated at the end of my junior year.}

Here we go!

My Homeschool Story

When I was a teenager, I went to a small school in a small town and it happened to be what adults considered a “really good school.” Good kids, good teachers. Nothing really bad from the outside.

And yet, I was harassed every single day.

I was exposed to terms, words, phrases, and jokes that were absolutely shocking to me. When I went to the principal to seek help regarding the worst offender, I was told that several girls had complained about him, then the principal went on to say the student had broken up with his girlfriend, so she got her friends to tell lies about him to get him in trouble.

Essentially, the school principal was accusing me of lying about being harassed. I’d never even met the girl whom the student had supposedly broken up with, and I later discovered he was a child of a staff member and the administrators didn’t want to deal with that situation so they ignored it.

Plus, in a time before smart phones and tablets, boys passed pornographic pictures torn from magazines to each other under their desks or on the buses. This started happening in elementary school, and grew worse as the kids got older. Even the good boys were curious…

Anytime I tried to get help or expose the issues, I was told, “Welcome to the real world” or “Get used to it, this is the way the real world is.”

(Now, as an adult who lives and works in “the real world,” I can clearly see the advice I was given was very wrong. If someone goes around the work force speaking such vile, vulgar language and harassing other people, or passing pornography around the office, they will lose their job and may even go to jail, depending on the offense. With the exception of working in the school system, what I dealt with in school was not “the real world” by any stretch of the imagination.)

Here’s the thing, though. My parents never knew.

It wasn’t until 3 days before my sophomore year, when I was crying and pleading with them not to make me go back, that I finally told them what I was dealing with. I begged my parents to homeschool me again, to pull me back out of the environment that was crushing my soul and excruciatingly difficult for my spiritual walk.

Before that, I hadn’t breathed a word about how awful some of the girls were or how inappropriate some of the boys were. It was shameful. I felt embarrassed and did not want to repeat the words I’d heard or the things I was told, or any other situation I’d had to deal with.

On the outside, everything appeared okay. I was a good student, had friends, told my parents that my day was “fine” (because it had been as fine as I’d expected it to be). But on the inside, my spirit was withering away, my determination, my zeal for life, my sparkle… they were going out.

And nobody knew.

This isn’t to mention the indoctrination that was pilfering through every textbook, or the fact that when I questioned something which went against my spiritual beliefs, teachers told me my parents were wrong and that I needed to listen to my teachers because, “I’m the teacher, so I know.” (Yes, I was told those exact words many, many times, and students were taught as a collective group to disregard our parents’ teachings and morals because they weren’t the teacher.) Remember, this was in a good school district with many great teachers.

Parents and grandparents, I urge you to be aware of what’s happening in the local schools. Visit during lunchtime and quietly listen to the conversations. Sit in on a science or history class. Kindly but firmly demand to see your child’s textbooks, and then read those books. Go to the park after school and hear what the kids are talking about when they stop to play for a few minutes on their way home.

Be aware. Pay attention.

In Case You Need More Information, Here are Some Facts:

1) We are losing our children to the world at an alarming rate of 75%.

Do you have four kids? That means, chances are 3 of the 4 won’t remain faithful Christians after they enter adulthood. 20 kids in your youth group? 15 will likely fall away. This is terrifying.

Think these numbers are an exaggeration? Look at your own family and the kids you grew up with and consider the retention rate amongst your own circle of people. 25% seems pretty accurate now, doesn’t it?

2) Just because you turned out okay, even after going through the public school system, it doesn’t guarantee that your kids will.

I’ve heard so many people shrug and say, “Well, I went through public school and I turned out fine.” Guess what? There are people who go through horrendous circumstances for many years and turn out “fine.”

That doesn’t mean we need to expose our children to the same things!

3) The world and schools are getting worse and worse.

This isn’t me being cynical. This is reality. Read my homeschool story above if you need a refresher, and think back to your own school years. I’ll bet you can remember some really awful things that just felt commonplace to you at the time. Your kids are now dealing with those same issues, or worse.

4) Teachers are the indicator species.

Sallie Borrink wrote about this topic in an article on her website:

… Multiple teachers jumped in and said they were either already homeschooling or planned on homeschooling because there was no way they were going to subject their own children to what is currently going on in public (and, in many cases, private) schools.

One of the very experienced and savvy public school employees made this observation which I share here with her permission:

“In biology, there’s a descriptor – ‘indicator species’.  An indicator species may be unusually sensitive to environmental changes, and biologists monitor the indicator species for signs that something is amiss in the environment.

“I wonder when somebody is going to notice that teachers are an indicator species. When we leave public schools with our children, people should consider that there’s something amiss.”

Go here to read the full article. (And check out the comments – they are a treasure trove of information!)

I know this is also true in my own local community as well – many of the parents in my homeschool group either were, or still are, working in the public school system, and they adamantly refuse to send their children there.

5) The spiritual retention rate for homeschool kids is 94%.

WHOA. Consider this. Homeschooling jumps your child’s chances for spiritual survival from a failing 25% up to a solid A 94% (source). If your children were sick, and you had an option that gave them a 25% chance of survival, or another option that gave them a 94% chance of survival, which one would you choose? 94% is a no-brainer, isn’t it?

Even if it was more difficult, more time-consuming, and more expensive in the short term, you’d do it. And so would I. Shouldn’t we take even more care when it comes to our children’s eternal souls?

And in case you’re wondering why there’s such a drastic difference in retention rate, I’ll share that answer directly from God’s Word:

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

“A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is perfectly trained will be like his teacher.” Luke 6:40

“Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.'” 1 Corinthians 15:33

The simple truth is that homeschool parents have a tremendous influence on who their kids are friends with – from other families at church, homeschool co-ops, and in their local community, parents are able to allow their kids to spend a little time influencing other kids for good, and a lot of time being influenced by others in a very positive way. In turn, the kids learn how to choose good friends for themselves as they grow, because it’s what’s been modeled for them their entire lives.

6) You should seek guidance from people who are successful in the area you want to succeed.

I can’t tell you how many people have told me they don’t want to homeschool their kids because they knew of this one person who was homeschooled and ended up being odd, un-socialized, uneducated, or even abused.

While, yes, those things unfortunately do happen in the homeschool community, have you ever met someone in the public school system who was odd, socially awkward, uneducated, or abused?

We absolutely have. But we don’t blame the educational path for it. Why, then, do we blame homeschooling as a whole for a few isolated negative cases?

Furthermore, would you go to several divorcees for marital advice when you’re engaged? If so, you’d probably choose to run the other way and never walk down that aisle! We all know this! That’s why we should seek advice from couples who have been down the path before us and still choose to remain committed to each-other.

Likewise, when we’re considering homeschooling, we shouldn’t seek advice from the nay-sayers, the ones who tried and didn’t stick with it, or the ones who considered it and never started.

We should be seeking advice from those who have graduated their homeschooled children, from parents who are at least a few years further down the path than we are and are committed to seeing this through for the long haul, and from parents whose adult children still love and follow Christ.

7) You are enough to teach your child.

Nobody on earth loves or cares about your child’s education more than you do. Nobody else cares as much about their future, their success, their character, or anything else than you. That alone makes you the absolute best person for the job.

This is not to mention the tremendous amount of websites, curricula, tutors, and other people who can help fill in for any areas of weakness you have.

I promise, you are enough.

8 ) Homeschooled kids excel academically.

(Sourced from Bright Hub Education.)

Did you know that public school kids, on average, score around the 50th percentile on standardized tests, while homeschool kids average around the 80th percentile, even though homeschool parents generally don’t teach to the test, but public school teachers are required to?

Did you know that homeschool kids excel academically, regardless of whether or not their parents have a college education?

Did you know that homeschooled children whose parents spend next to nothing on curriculum every year are as academically successful as their homeschool peers whose parents spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on resources each year?

Your love for your children will propel you to succeed at educating them, regardless of your own skills, education level, and budget.

9 ) Homeschooling allows for so many incredible opportunities.

People sometimes ask me if I’m worried my kids are “missing out” because they’re homeschooled.

Here’s my answer: There are some opportunities public school kids have regularly that homeschool families need to spend additional time or money seeking out. But, there are so many other opportunities for homeschooled kids that most public school children simply don’t have. To name a few:

• Working at their own pace. If a new concept doesn’t click for a homeschooled child, they can slow down until they understand the lessons, instead of falling further behind. When they do understand a concept quickly, they can speed ahead instead of completing busy work while they wait for the other kids to catch up.
• Field trips. Most public school kids take a handful of field trips per year, at most. The homeschool families I know generally take several per month.
• Ample time to study God’s word and work on character traits. Bible, character traits, apologetics, and family values are woven into nearly every school lesson and activity all day long for most of the Christian homeschool families I know.
  

  “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9 NKJV

• Learning in a bully-free environment. Were you ever bullied as a kid? How does that affect your self esteem, still today? The echoes of cruel words ring in our ears for a lifetime after they’re said. Imagine how much better your self esteem might be if you’d been able to learn in a bully-free environment for your entire life.
• No wasted time. There’s no time waiting in line for the water fountain, waiting in line for the bathroom, waiting in line to walk to recess, waiting in line to walk back inside, waiting for the other kids to finish, waiting for the class clown to calm down, waiting for their turn to use the pencil sharpener, etc. Every minute for a homeschooled child can be educationally fruitful.
• Ample time to focus on personal interests and skills. Due to not having to spend time waiting and being able to work at their own pace, a homeschool day simply does not take as long as a public school day. This gives kids time to develop their own skills and interests from a young age, and allows ample time for internships, volunteer work, and other unique opportunities during the day as they grow, without taking away from family time in the evenings.

There are so many more things I could add, but I think I’ve given you plenty of examples for now!

Are you fearful? Consider this.

Someone once told me she’s terrified to send her children to public school, but she wants them to be socialized and excel academically and that she can’t just homeschool out of fear. I answered very simply, “You’re correct that we shouldn’t homeschool our children out of fear, but we shouldn’t not homeschool out of fear either.”

Are you fearful? Have you considered homeschooling, but you’re afraid you won’t be smart enough, kind enough, or patient enough, or that your kids won’t be educated enough, socialized enough, or whatever else enough?

If so, I’d like to leave you with these thoughts, straight from God’s Word:

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: ‘Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man’s all.'” Ecclesiastes 12:13

Practical resources to help you get started:

If you want some practical help getting started homeschooling, or even just more information to educate yourself about it, I recommend reading The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling by Debra Bell (the Kindle version is only $4.99 right now!!).

Or for very easy reading that offers emotional encouragement instead of practical tips, read You’re Going to do WHAT?! Helping You Understand the Homeschool Decision by Laurajean Downs.

If you’re already homeschooling, but are feeling a little overwhelmed, definitely check out my BRAND NEW Simplify Your Homeschool Routine video masterclass.

I’d love to hear: Do you have a question about homeschooling? Let me know in the comments so I can answer them for you!